The Joke Just Keeps Getting Funnier...

Saw this in the National Enquirer and it serves as a further reminder that Sex Addiction is complete B.S. and that married men should never go in for "treatment" because I refuse to believe that it EVER ends well for them. So according to Eldrick, the number of Skank-Bags on his scorecard is 121 - give or take a few here and there. 121....yeah....

First of all, this is the most impressive "score" I've ever seen Woods post in his career. Second of all, this story explains why Elin hasn't been seen around Woods since being spotted at the facility months ago. Third, who knows if Woods is being completely truthful. Fourth, the National Enquirer was the paper that broke the whole Tiger Cheater scandal back in November when nobody else would, so there's no reason to doubt them here. Fifth, this should REALLY help Elin get top dollar in court, and I salute her.

Most importantly, this is yet another nail in the king size coffin of the cash cow that was the Tiger Woods Family Man brand. BTW I'm still waiting for all these endorsements that were supposed to come Woods' way after the Masters? Hello Endorsers? Anyone there besides my fathers corpse????

Happy Lee Elia Day!!!!!!!

On April 29, 1983, then Cubs Manager Lee Elia let forth a now infamous rant directed at booing Cubs fans, particularly in the outfield bleachers. You know the rest of the story. You know what ended up happening to him. You also know that he not only was exactly right about the 3,000 people, but also about the talent level that was on that 1983 Cubs roster. So on this day, 27 years later, lets enjoy the rant one more time here. Still makes me laugh...

Jake Peavy? The Doctor Will See You Now...

I don't care what happened after the first inning, there is something wrong with Jake Peavy. I watched the game, more importantly I watched his velocity. He still didn't get a fastball above 90 more than 4 times in his 6 and 1/3 innings, which is WAY down in terms of his normal fastball when he's healthy. He still rolled a TON of sliders that stayed in the strike zone, and had no control over his curveball despite his 7 strikeouts. His 6 walks including 3 consecutive at one point seem to back my suspicions up too.

Baseball Chuck Norris is now 0-2 with a 7.85 ERA on this young season. Going over his game logs all the way back to 2003 when he first emerged as a dominant starting pitcher, he's only had one similar start like this and that was back in 2006 when he was 1-2 with a 4.32 ERA through 4 starts. Peavy went 11-14 that year with a 4.09 ERA. So technically he's had a down year like this, but I'm unable to confirm if his velocity was down that season or if he kept telling people (for the third time by my count so far) that he's "fixed something"? Not to mention another curious stat I looked up. Going into tonight's start Peavy has averaged about 6.75 Swinging Strikes. In his 2007 Cy Young campaign, Peavy averaged 11 Swinging Strikes per start. Bit of a difference isn't it? I could have gone deeper into the numbers, but I decided to not depress myself further. Add up anything you want to though, and it becomes pretty clear that the guy is not the pitcher the White Sox thought they were getting, and I really wouldn't mind if the White Sox put their foot down and got an MRI on Jake's shoulder...

As far as the rest of the White Sox go, they still can't hit worth a damn. Alex Rios is leading the team in hitting at .270. The Sox are second in the American League in Home Runs, yet they're twelfth in Runs Scored. Gordon Beckham might not be as good a player as White Sox fans thought he was. Juan Pierre is as BAD a player as White Sox fans worried he was. I keep waiting for them to snap out of this hitting funk they're in as a team, but I'm starting to lose confidence.

If this keeps up, July 31 will be very interesting for the wrong reasons...

Bye Bye

I'd like to start off by saying first and foremost, I don't hate Vinny Del Negro. I really don't. I always liked him as a player all the way from when he was at NC State. He seems like a nice enough guy. He's never (to my knowledge) been boorish, or a jerk to anyone. He's been fair with the media, fans, his teammates and players throughout his career. He was put in a pretty unfair situation by a GM who hired Vinny as a bailout for not landing Mike D'Antoni. There were also other things that happened to this Bulls team that were out of his control.

Yet 24 hours later my reaction to the Bulls exit from the postseason is still, "Please for don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out too Vinny." Rick Morrisey had the best line in his column today when he said Vinny was nothing more than a "Point A to Point A" guy. That's absolutely correct because Vinny wasn't ready to be a head coach in the first place, and hasn't done anything with this team that any other coach couldn't have done. Maybe he will be a good head coach someday, but that won't change the fact that he was a bad one with the Bulls.

I've covered the many reasons over the past season for why Vinny should have been let go a long time ago i.e. blowing a 35 point lead at home to the Kings, losing twice to the Nets, etc. There's another ultimate, much more tangible reason though, and that reason is a reason I've heard time and time again. The reason is that basketball Head Coaches ultimately earn their money and reputation one way only, and that's how successful they are at drawing up out of bounds plays to give someone an open look following a time out. Fairly, or unfairly, that is the ultimate measuring stick for coaches in any level of basketball. Vinny was just completely inept when it came to this skill. You only needed to watch this last game, when he was drawing up plays for Flip Murray...FLIP MURRAY!

So while the Del Negro era is soon to be over, a new much more interesting era begins. I haven't the foggiest idea of who the Bulls next head coach will be? What I do know is that there's a WHOLE lot of Cap Space now, and the Bulls are committed to bringing a superstar(s) player into the fold via Free Agency. Whether they hire a coach first before going out and spending money on players remains to be seen. Personally I'm hoping they do hire a coach first and make a firm commitment to him contractually. That way it tells any potential free agent that if you come to the Bulls you are going to play for this guy no matter what happens.

Like I've said before, now the real Bulls season can begin...

WHEW!

My first reaction to the Chicago Blackhawks 5-3 win tonight over the Nashville Predators was "Thank F'ing God THAT'S Over!" While on paper this shouldn't have been too difficult a task for the Hawks to have run roughshod over the lowly Preds, this is the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and when it comes to the Stanley Cup Playoffs, there are no easy victories. That rings particularly true in matchups involving 2 seeds versus the 7 seeds. Since the 1993-1994 Playoff Format change, the 7 seed has eliminated the 2 seed 46% of the time. For a few times this series, it looked like the Blackhawks would add to that 46%...


The Predators gave the Hawks all they could handle. For the most part, they really dictated the pace of play by slowing it down, closing off the passing lanes, killing penalties, and riding 6'5" Pekka Rinne for as far as they could. In all honesty, the Predators came THIS close to pulling it off with a Game 5 win on Saturday, if not for the Hawks (sorry Al Michaels) miraculous snatching (SNAAAAATCH) of victory from the jaws of defeat at the end of regulation and Overtime. BTW I still can't believe Hossa wasn't suspended for the exact same damn hit Ovechkin put on Brian "Soupy" Campbell a month earlier?! That's one thing you can always count on the NHL Brass for...GLARING inconsistency.


In the end though, the Hawks star players, played like star players when they needed to. Tonight's victory was no exception. Duncan Keith scoring his first goal of the series, Patrick Sharp scoring his third, Patrick Kane chipped in his fourth goal, and Jonathan Toews with his second goal of the series, combined with killing off 8:27 minutes worth of Nashville Power Play, was more than enough to advance the Hawks into the second round to face the hated Vancouver Canucks.


As you can tell by reading this blog, The Beard doesn't pretend to be a Hockey expert. If I were to speculate with the little knowledge I have, I'd say the Hawks shouldn't have nearly the headache with the Canucks as they did the Predators. While the Predators provided a blueprint on how to beat the Hawks, they also had the personnel to play that style and have been playing it all season. I don't believe that will be the case in this series.

Vancouver was third in Power Play Goals, and second overall in Goals Scored in 2009-10. The Hawks on the other hand while finishing third in Goals Scored, yet barely in the top 20 in Power Play Goals, also finished fourth in Penalty Killing Percentage, third in Power Play Goals allowed, and third in Power Play Opportunities Against. The Canucks are hanging around the Top 20 in the last two categories.

So while Vancouver is lethal on the Power Play, the Hawks are just as lethal in Penalty Killing. The Hawks on the other hand score most of their goals when both teams are at even strength, and are not nearly as dependent on the Power Play to create their scoring chances as Vancouver. So as long as they avoid as many penalties as they can, and display the continued excellence they've shown in killing penalties, they should be just fine against the Canucks.

Again though, considering that I've come to agree that the Stanley Cup is the toughest Championship to win in all of Team Sports, there is just no way to predict what will happen...

Draft Stuff

I think you realize where I'm going to start with this, but overall this was one of the weirdest drafts I can recall. Players that were drafted way above or below where they would normally be selected, and teams doing things in direct opposite of their normal Draft M.O. Not to mention I really didn't care for the Thursday & Friday Night Prime Time Airings which ultimately made the long event that is the draft, even longer. Also, I want to make perfectly clear that I'm not going to "grade" or give "winners and losers" of the draft because we just don't actually know if a team had a good or bad draft until three years from now.

With that said, here's some more observations regarding the 2010 NFL Draft :

• This draft managed to combine two sports entities that I despise, into one doomed-to-fail marriage with Denver trading three picks to Baltimore to move up and draft Tim "Jesus Christ" Tebow. There's so much to pick apart here it's baffling. Tebow, at best case scenario, is a three year project before he's ready to play quarterback in the NFL. That's the BEST case scenario. The worst (and most likely) scenario is that Tebow ends up a washout. For Denver to not only trade three picks to get him, but also commit first round guaranteed money for a guy who's a project is just silly. First round picks are spent on guys you expect to contribute right away, not for "Development". As a team, you just don't commit all that money to a guy like that, especially when the coach that's drafting him might not even be coaching the team by the time Tebow's ready! Like I said earlier though, this allows both Tebow and McDaniels to be put under one Umbrella of Hatred for The Beard, and for that I salute them.



• "Is Jimmy Clausen an Axe-Murderer"? That's probably the best reaction I heard during his notorious draft sliiiiiiide into the second round before he became a Carolina Panther. It was pretty remarkable seeing a guy who is way more polished as quarterback than Tebow be taken in the second round. Clausen has a good arm with a quick release, very accurate in the short passing game, has run a pro-style offense during his tenure, yet Tebow goes before he does? Not that I particularly like Jimmy Clausen, but if it were up to me and I needed to draft a QB out of this bunch, Clausen is a much more stable selection despite his perceived "Dickheaded-ness".



• Sorry Whitey, but the Baltimore Ravens continued to be a team that is willing to make bold, big-nuts, draft picks, with their selections of Sergio Kindle and Terrance Cody both in the second round. Kindle and Cody both have red flags attached to them, but red flags never scared Ozzie Newsome and he's been right more often than not as he's produced 11 Pro Bowl players over his tenure as GM. If they work out they might have shored up a defense, that finished as the #3 defense in the league last year.



• Is it me, or do the Detroit Lions look like they know what they're doing? Not only did they land Ndamukong Suh - who's been called the best college football player in the last twenty years - but they also traded up to get Cal Running Back Javid Best who is better than most people think. Couple those picks with the free agent signings of Nate Burleson and Kyle Vanden Bosch to go along with Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson....and it's not out of the question to say these aren't your sisters Detroit Lions anymore.



• Speaking of knowing what they're doing, BOTH Bay Area teams really went against the grain and made logical need picks this time. The Raiders were expected to take Bruce Campbell at #8, and the got him at #106. They did reach by taking McClain at #8 because now McClain is the highest picked Inside Linebacker ever taken in the last 15 years. They did help him out though by selecting Lamarr Houston to play DT in front of him. Their best move of the draft though, was obtaining Jason Campbell from the Redskins. With Campbell, they finally get a stable QB that looks like he's played football before, and with this story on profootballtalk.com, the end of the JaJokeus Russell era may finally be over.



• On the other side of the Bay, the Niners made some pretty interesting picks as well. They still don't have a quarterback, but whoever lines up under center will have two new offensive lineman with Anthony Davis and Mike Iupati. Davis might end up a bust, but Iupati looks like he could be good. The pick that most intrigued me though was Taylor Mays in the second round. I like Mays because he's not only very talented physically, but I'll take my chances on a guy who opts to make a big hit rather than play the ball in coverage. A conversion to linebacker is not out of the question in my opinion...



• The one team that really impressed me this draft, as well as this entire offseason is the New York Jets. The Jets picked up Antonio Cromartie to lineup opposite Darrelle Revis at corner, so naturally they drafted a cornerback - some say the best corner in the draft - in Kyle Wilson. This pick actually makes sense simply because the Jets, and their #1 ranked defense, is a very blitz happy scheme which demands excellent man to man coverage from their secondary. With Wilson, they got deeper at a position that is pivotal for their defensive scheme to work. They also picked up Josh McKnight from USC, who I think his football speed is a lot faster than his 40 time. Their second round selection of Vlad Ducasse makes Alan Faneca expendable and there is one team in the Midwest that should be VERY interested in Faneca...



• ...And that team is the Chicago Bears. Faneca would be a huge addition for the Bears simply because they are going to need offensive lineman that know what they are doing. Faneca more than fits that bill. Hopefully they pull the trigger on him. As far as the Bears draft is concerned - ehhh...Major Wright joins the list of safeties they've drafted over the years in Chris Harris, Al Afalava, Danieal Manning, and Craig Steltz. Corey Wooten just strikes me as a "guy". Is it too much of a stretch to ask Dan LeFevour to be better than Caleb Hanie??

"IS MURPH RUNNING THE TEAM?!"

The title of this post sums up the best reaction to the news of Carlos Zambrano going to the bullpen I've heard so far. Terms like "head-scratcher" and "shocking" don't do this move justice. This is baseball LUNACY. To take a guy who not only is being paid $91 million dollars, who has been your "ace" starting pitcher going on 5 years now, that usually gives you 200 innings per season, and put him in the bullpen in the first two weeks of a season where he won't even be the Closer is the equivalent of driving a car blindfolded. Not only does it not make any sense, it's also very dangerous.

Before we go overboard on how idiotic this is, let me get the preliminaries out of the way. Yes, the Cubs bullpen has problems. Yes they need a set up man who preferably has a "power-arm". Yes they are getting Ted Lilly back, and someone has to be the odd man out in the rotation. That's all fine and good. Under NO circumstances should the odd man out be Zambrano however. None. There are much better candidates that have pitched out of the bullpen before, Ryan Dempster, Carlos Silva, and Randy Wells in particular. None of those guys though are nearly the Ace, and Innings Eater that Zambrano is. Even the baseball nerds at Fangraphs.com can't make any sense of this, because here's the thing : even if Zambrano excels in his new role, he's still not as valuable as a bullpen specialist versus being the #1 Ace of the staff. There's NO WAY around that.

Another amazing aspect of this, that I never in a million years would think could be possible...even the people who can't stand Zambrano for his antics, feel some level of compassion for him now. He didn't ask for this, and this is not a knee jerk reaction to some injury that Zambrano has. This is just a bizarre decision that's out of his hands, and he's handled it like a professional. As far as I know, this has never been done before by any team, and if it has been done, it certainly wasn't done two weeks into a new season!

I honestly don't know why Lou and Jim Hendry would do this? Not only does it make zero sense, but it really doesn't seem like it will work either considering Zambrano's history is that of a guy who struggles in the first inning of games he pitches?