It seems our old friend Brian Cushing made the news again, relating to his positive test of a banned substance. After amazingly being allowed to keep his silly award after a second vote was taken, he is now trying to double down on his luck, by trying to convince the NFL to reduce his suspension because his reason for testing positive was (drumroll) "Overtrained Athlete Syndrome"!!!!!
YES! OF COURSE IT WAS!!! Man we really all owe Brian an apology don't we? We're soooo sorry Brian!!!! How could we have missed that?! I mean obviously Ben Johnson, Floyd Landis, Mark McGwire, Jason Giambi, Andy Pettite, Roger Clemens and the others offered that lame excuse too right? Shame on us! We really should have known that it was yet another case of "OAS". "OAS" has been a silent epidemic in sports. It's obviously been responsible for at least 90% of the positive test results for performance enhancing drugs over the years. Arnold Schwarzenegger himself told people he too was a victim of "OAS" because he never took anything during his competitive bodybuilding days. Lyle Alzado also told the world that "OAS got me what I wanted but it also got me very sick." Vince McMahon of the WWE was famously on trial for distributing cases of "OAS" throughout his entire organization. And you guessed it, Barry Bonds' defense for his indictment is that he too is a victim of "OAS".
WOW...I'm stunned. I can't believe Brian thinks the league is this stupid. Apparently his owner thinks the league is this stupid too because Bob McNair actually met with Goodell today trying to convince him of this nonsense.
Here's hoping Wyatt Goodell holds up this picture to McNair and asks "Does OAS give you boobies too?"
Brian Cushing... who you crappin?
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