Whooopee...

Goliath is returning, and apparently he's been missed by his sycophants. Eldrick decided to not only play golf professionally again, but has chosen one of the four biggest stages the PGA has in which to make his 2010 debut. "The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect..." the Sex-Addicted One shared in a statement released today. The Masters also happens to allow Eldrick the best of both worlds. On the one hand, Augusta National is one of the more controlled environments on the PGA Tour. On the other hand, it also provides a golf course that has been modified over the years to specifically challenge him.

I will say this for him...even though they haven't seen much action since Thanksgiving, Eldrick's Balls are still pretty damn big, and they haven't lost any fortitude. He could have eased into this by playing in Arnold Palmer's Invitational this week, gotten the B.S. plus nerves out of the way, and come into the Masters more relaxed/focused. Obviously that's not good enough for him, since he's deciding to retake his spot on the top by playing his first round in one of the four major tournaments of the year. While his testicular fortitude is admirable, and will no doubt only enable his posterior-kissers in the media (looking at YOU Rick Reilly) to pucker up once again, it's no guarantee that he will succeed. Just ask Rod Blagojevich.

Putting aside my longstanding vitriol of Woods, and the people who (still) love him for a moment, let's look at this objectively. People can point all they want on how Woods has always blocked out whatever hardships he's had to deal with in the past. They can (and already have in some cases) almost celebrate the fact that whatever Woods has had to deal with never affected his game until their hearts are content. The fact of the matter is none of that matters now because this is the first time ever that Woods' actions have caused people to dislike him. He's never had to deal with that before. He's never had to deal with the possibility of (god forbid) being heckled on the golf course before. His status as a role model was never questioned, or blasted before. He's never let anyone down before, and it will be interesting to see how he handles that on the golf course.

Maybe he comes back and plays like he never missed a beat. The Beard won't deny that possibility. But what happens if he isn't the same golfer? At least not right away? What if he actually IS rusty? What if he does lose his composure a little more frequently than he did before? There's plenty that could go wrong for him that he may not be fully aware of, or not really care about, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't care about it. He certainly didn't mind acting like that during his marriage, and look where that behavior got him.

One thing that is for sure is that his actions are that of someone who is unafraid of betting on himself. It will get even people like me who hate his guts, watching with interest on April 8.

Here's hoping that some brave woman dresses up in a Perkins Waitress uniform and stands in front of him in one of the galleries...